I received a wake up call recently about just how hard helping young people to change can sometimes be, which is why we need to go easy on ourselves and why we need a trusted team or support network around us.  

I was researching a 'Supernanny' that several people had mentioned to me in the same week, so I looked her name up online. It was the same as my other Supernanny experiences; the methods are extreme but the principle was simple and sound:

  • Clear boundaries
  • NEVER negotiate 

It’s the stuff every parent and professional grapples with.…..and that is when I came across this article. The very same Nanny, now a mum herself, was unable to implement her own strategies, because of love.

This opened my eyes......It showed me something in myself. Something I have built teams around me to eliminate.The silently creeping urge to give in or go easy because we care so, so much.

Sticking to our boundaries is really important because it teaches our young people discipline, conflict resolution, emotional management and how to get along with others.  It’s hard not to cave in when the tantrums start because we don’t want to be the cause of our young people’s suffering.  So how do we do it?:

  1. Go easy on yourself - picking too many boundaries to work on is going to make things emotionally challenging. 
  2. Got issues with dinner time and bedtime?  People can operate when they are hungry better than when they are tired.  Focus on bedtime first.
  3. Get a team - Doing anything alone is hard and lonely.  We are far more likely to give in. Discuss what you want to achieve with someone you trust to hold you to account.  Someone less involved.  Book in regular time to catch up.  Together you will get this!

It’s hard to maintain boundaries but there is so much to give our children in maintaining them.  By working on one thing at a time and getting a team around us we can make it a much breezier experience. 

The future is brighter together.  Stay strong parents, carers and professionals.

Jonno 😊